Post Recovery Moments, Day 0 The real story.

Monday December 17th

They wheeled me out of surgery in my bed. The bed could be admired as a four poster bed with very elaborate cross bars and with circus accessories. I was on my back and between my legs was a large pink "adductor" splint. Translation, a huge hunk of pink foam that keeps my legs apart lest I awake and feel the need to pop out of bed and begin to resume my life as a Rockett. I was also attached to a machine that pumped air around my calves. It tightened every few minutes. While sleeping had no need to worry that blood was pooling and forming evil blood clots. I was also bundled up in lovely white stockings. (Latex free)

You are poked and prodded a bit and then allowed to sleep. They want to make sure you are still alive and well and breathing and the usual.

Then the indoctrination about the "RULE OF 90" begins. No putting your hip in a 90 degree angle for 90 days. 90 days. 90 days of no sitting in normal chairs, on couches, cars buses, beaches. No bending down to pick up anything from the floor. No........ NO BENDING 90 DEGREES.........................

M-E choose to stay on Monday. I came in and out trying to connect with the out side world. I was just amazed at how little pain I was in. No pain. No source of pain.

Around 7:00 p.m. an ittie bitty perky person came in. She bounced and smiled and exuded enthusiasm.

"How are you Doing?"
Lets see, they took me to a cold and green tiled room full of power tools, disjointed my hip ripped apart the joint and all the good things that held it together, cut the top of the femur off and jammed a flag pole down into the bone marrow. Then they reamed out the old socket and stuck a new one back. Put it all together, sewed me up and sent me on my merry way and have imposed the RULE OF 90. I seem to be doing fine.

How is your pain? I have no pain. I just punch this button when it hurts and then I drift off like a junkie in an opium den. No problem, let me try and focus on what your are asking. It doesn't seem too be a problem......

Can you look at the smilie face chart and let me know which face most explains your level of pain? Oh goody a chart, it is rainbow, blue to green to sunny yellow to orange to angry very unhappy red. Oh, I am not to wonder what color to paint my room, I am to look at the happy to unhappy faces and figure out which one best represents me at this moment in time, oh, I think I will visit my little button friend.... Okay, concentrate. Okay, which one is me...... I think that is me......

Okay, now do you know you can help relieve that with just a little push of a button? Oh trust me, I have it down pat. See if I press the button and hear the beep, I go to sleepy land and cannot answer your questions. I am well acquainted, oh, I didn't realize that big brother was gathering the data and deciding what my "acceptable Pain Management method" should be.



Now, let's go for a walk. Now remember your your PTHP's (Posterior Total Hip Precautions) Let me read them to you..... Hit the button, oh, yes, there is the sleepy medicine........



So first off with the covers. Reveal of the firsts layer. Second layer two puffy wraps that keep inflating that are attached to what looks like an astronauts back pack. They are unpeeled, held together with Velcro. Then the Adductor splint is removed from between my legs. I see my calves encased in white tubes they are the nightmare stockings from hell. TEDS.



So... let's get up. Okay, let's..... Grabbing button. Okay.



Little Ms. Perky very carefully and gently put her strong cheerful hands under "involved" leg and I moved my other leg. One worked and the other did not. Little by little, I was able to sit on the side of the bed. NO PAIN IN THE HIP........ NONE, IT IS GONE....

The walker and I were introduced and before I had a chance to process the activity, I was standing. NO PAIN......... I then was able to take a step and then another and before I knew it, I had walked 25 feet. Less then 12 hours after my leg was pulled apart and put back together I was walking.

Back to bed, another bit of hit from my friend and then we were off and running(figuratively) on the old exercises.

Not bad for a day of major surgery. Day 0

The Deed is Done......

Monday December 17th

So. I have been offline a bit but now the time has come to report a few of the many adventures of someone been on the care giving side of the world and now on the receiving end....



Lets start from the beginning. I may just ramble for a while to get some things down and then go back and do some filling in and then some editing. I first must say that it is an art and a science and well oiled production line. It has been well thought out and honed to perfection. It very much remains an experience and an adventure.



So this is how it starts.



4:15 a.m. Alarm goes off. Yes, it is possible to sleep the night before someone is taking power tools to your body. I remembered not to drink more than a couple of sips of water to take some "USUAL" pills. I did relish what I thought might be my last long and hot vertical shower. I just stood there and thought "no going back". It was a go....



5:00 a.m. Dad and I drove to the hospital. I drove the Victoria Clipper and did not for a moment think about going to Denny's for breakfast. We walked into the hospital and I went to the CHECK-IN. I was given a green card and went to the next station. Now you would think that would have noticed all the other people with similar cards that were patiently waiting for the person sitting at the to be OPEN, how could 30 people be waiting. It was surgery time.



I walked up, ignored the "STATION CLOSED CALL....." and registered. I then sat and waited for the next part of the process. I looked up and there was a line. 40 people long that formed. OPPS I guess they were all their earlier than I and were the sort that honored the STATION CLOSED CALL...... sign.



So we were escorted to the next weigh-station. I think that major surgery is sort of like the military. They want to strip you of your dignity bit by bit. Yes, I do hope to weight the same in pounds next year. Off the the "chair" lovely Naugahyde, a sort of recliner thing. If you were wondering why the blue Naugahyde was gone from all your local fabric stores, now you know, it has been sucked into the world of "hospital" furnishings. More invasive questions, and then the changing into the gown. Now, why doesn't Heidi Klum and her gang have a show that designed new hospital fashion? Just a thought.....

Into the wheel chair and into the staging stretcher. My last act of self propulsion that does not include being completely conscious of how I am moving and the angles of my leg and where it is and how it is moving and who is moving what and where.....

The 12 year old anesthesiologist came in and listened to my heart and asked how long I had a heart murmur? I had no real answer to the question which made my dad developed a heart murmur. In went the IV, and then I headed to the surgery suite.

Observations.... big bulky beds, limited staffs, no automatic doors... Go figure. We finally entered the room. Remember that awful green tile that you see in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest"? Well the tile is now at Swedish Hospital. I transfered to the table and was asked to turn toward the wall while a needle was inserted into my spine, I saw the table of "tools" There were large boses of joint reamers, spikes that looked like they could take down a dozen of vampires and boxes of other spikie things. Because everyone is being tasteful, no saws were in site.

A bit of medicine went into my spine, I layed down and that was it.

The next thing I knew was that I was leaving green tile world and headed back to recovery. I asked why 3.5 hours had passed instead of two. Evidently I had waited so long that it was hard to tell how the joint should have been. It was not the same as the other hip so it took a bit.

I was introduced to my "Personal Pain Management" system and left to wake up and explore the world of post surgical pain management. Back into my room by noon and then for some sleep. It is not a groggy sort of day but just pure sleep. No pain. Not because of "my friend" but because the pain was gone. Some slight incision burning but then that was not even very bothersome. The pain is gone. Gone, really really really gone.

Count Down

In less than 48 hours, I will be done with this process. On the other side of the surgery. I am so aware of the fact that I have waited way way too long. I probably have created more problems for myself that will need to dealt with in 48 hours. My muscles around the defective joint are very tight and will need to be retrained. I have lost lots of strength in the leg and put lots of pressure on remaining joints. They will soon be getting a rest and I will be back on all twos and happy to be there. I will be spending lots of time in a pool and doing lots of PT (Physical Torture) and lots and lots of walking.

Bloomsday is the goal for this year. I will at least start and hope that I don't get hauled in with the cart of shame. I am making hotel reservations after I hit publish.

Mom and Dad arrive in a couple of hours and the house is a mess, the tree is not up. The Georg Jensen's are still in the basement. It is awful but then it is what it is.

More later.